I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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