We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
