that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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