Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
