My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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