Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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