So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
