ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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