what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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