hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
