i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
