oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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