I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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