I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize