scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He shit in the fireplace
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
