i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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