I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize