I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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