he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize