It's Friday. Sex?
the day after is always just damage control
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
