Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She's just so happy...and so naked.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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