Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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