I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
