Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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