You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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