omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I bet he comes in French.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are all done wearing pants today
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize