There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
