you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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