Pappa wants mamma naked
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
