don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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