Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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