walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
