i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize