I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
