can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
