Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
