Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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