No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
