He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
