I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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