if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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