You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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