haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
