the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
