i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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