i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
