he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
