I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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