Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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