if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
