u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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