I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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