I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize