FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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